Hi Bloggers
Its been a good weekend and for the first time in quite some time I managed to get away for a weekend
break.
My mum twisted my arm up my back as I do not want to leave the house much and convinced me to visit some old friends from a long time ago.
It took me so much time to pick myself up enough to go but I did.
So off to Luton.
I feelings of anxiety came rather fast the railway station the train it was very daunting not all of you will understand but some of you will.
The feelings of being scared without any sensible reason to be.
So Headphones fitted securely and a dog eared determination to find myself some normality.
when I arrived at luton the railway station exit was in a shopping centre Oh Joy people coming at you from all directions.
I had 2 hours to kill before meeting anybody that I would know.
Where do I go , What do I do ?
To far away from home to run in and shut the door lol.
So the sun was shining and I managed to pluck up the courage to go into a pub and buy a pint,
And sat outside in the town centre watching the kids running care free in the water fountains that would shoot out of the ground at random,
What struck me was the mixture of ethnicity all in one place you could even think that you were in some Mediterranean country.
The mixture of cultures was so evenly balanced and the languages that you could hear people talking Hindi,Turkish,Urdu,English,Irish and the local accent of Lutonish lol.
I continued to sit on this outside bench feeling the sun, with my pint and a newspaper it seamed that the longer that I was there the better I started to feel maybe it was the huge table with me on my own that made it feel safe lol.
I will try not to bore the reader but I did manage to get another pint in (I am not the worlds biggest drinker) pint an hour will do thanks.
Eventually I was rescued from my own isolation by my mates who I felt instantly at home with.
What have I learnt from this experience is that no matter what you have been through you can start to get your life back on track it is never easy but with friends and family and a little push to yourself you can make a little change.
I have managed to get out of the house for more than a couple of hours and managed the long train journey where I had been so uncomfortably trapped in a seat with unknown members of the public
all around phew, Away from home for over 24hrs. and it was not so bad
Gone into a pub I did not know in a Town I have never been too before.
Was I scared and nervous and anxious definitely.
My Thoughts
You should always fight to be the person you are inside however difficult.
I know the time is coming soon where I will hopefully get the chance to ask the people who have failed me and grandad to account for their actions and comments and I need to be strong to get the all the answers required.
I have become myself again from a telephone and email position its time to be me again, face to face.
Hopefully this week will finally start to bring Justice and Answers and not more lies and covering up.
Take Care Folk's
Steve
Its been a good weekend and for the first time in quite some time I managed to get away for a weekend
break.
My mum twisted my arm up my back as I do not want to leave the house much and convinced me to visit some old friends from a long time ago.
It took me so much time to pick myself up enough to go but I did.
So off to Luton.
I feelings of anxiety came rather fast the railway station the train it was very daunting not all of you will understand but some of you will.
The feelings of being scared without any sensible reason to be.
So Headphones fitted securely and a dog eared determination to find myself some normality.
when I arrived at luton the railway station exit was in a shopping centre Oh Joy people coming at you from all directions.
I had 2 hours to kill before meeting anybody that I would know.
Where do I go , What do I do ?
To far away from home to run in and shut the door lol.
So the sun was shining and I managed to pluck up the courage to go into a pub and buy a pint,
And sat outside in the town centre watching the kids running care free in the water fountains that would shoot out of the ground at random,
What struck me was the mixture of ethnicity all in one place you could even think that you were in some Mediterranean country.
The mixture of cultures was so evenly balanced and the languages that you could hear people talking Hindi,Turkish,Urdu,English,Irish and the local accent of Lutonish lol.
I continued to sit on this outside bench feeling the sun, with my pint and a newspaper it seamed that the longer that I was there the better I started to feel maybe it was the huge table with me on my own that made it feel safe lol.
I will try not to bore the reader but I did manage to get another pint in (I am not the worlds biggest drinker) pint an hour will do thanks.
Eventually I was rescued from my own isolation by my mates who I felt instantly at home with.
What have I learnt from this experience is that no matter what you have been through you can start to get your life back on track it is never easy but with friends and family and a little push to yourself you can make a little change.
I have managed to get out of the house for more than a couple of hours and managed the long train journey where I had been so uncomfortably trapped in a seat with unknown members of the public
all around phew, Away from home for over 24hrs. and it was not so bad
Gone into a pub I did not know in a Town I have never been too before.
Was I scared and nervous and anxious definitely.
My Thoughts
You should always fight to be the person you are inside however difficult.
I know the time is coming soon where I will hopefully get the chance to ask the people who have failed me and grandad to account for their actions and comments and I need to be strong to get the all the answers required.
I have become myself again from a telephone and email position its time to be me again, face to face.
Hopefully this week will finally start to bring Justice and Answers and not more lies and covering up.
Take Care Folk's
Steve
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