Hi Folk's
Firstly grandads funeral was beautiful with a full service of all ages and the sum of £160 was raised to be shared between Marie Curie Cancer Care and the McMillan Hospice.
Just thought I would share a bit more about me and things I have learned whilst getting older.
I grew up in what was a small place called alsager a small village in Cheshire.
Quite a fat kid with skinny mates and from a one parent family, which was rare.
My mates parents were either civil servants or very well off compared to our small family unit of me my sister and mum.
There had been plenty of family chaos by the time I became a teenager, dads accident abroad and the subsequent blame games.
My mum did the best she could she could be very strict and would rarely show much love on the outside towards both me and my sister, however her thoughts were firmly fixed on providing us both with clothing and shoes and a warm safe home.
As a child I never fully understood why my mum was like this, but as an adult and looking back she had locked herself emotionally away after the sudden loss of our dad.
Our family unit should have pulled together after the loss of dad but unfortunately the opposite happened.
My mums parents placed the three of us under a big bubble of protection and made myself and my sister there most precious grand kids.
We knew nothing about what was happening in the bigger picture, Mum had two brothers which in all had made a total of 10 grand kids.
The other brothers were feeling left out as well as the further 8 grand kids.this caused ill feelings.
That was only half of the mess.
My dads parents had spent all of the years after the death of there only son believing that it was my mums fault for wanting to emigrate to Zambia.
This was very wrong it had always been my dads wish to better the family and allow his family unit to be financially stable, I know this as I have read the many letters my dad had wrote.
My dads mum was from an older generation and her feelings had always been that my dad had married into an unsuitable family, There was no love between either my mum or gran and no common ground was ever found.
My dads dad would do as he was told and would never stand up to his wife although they loved each other dearly.
So the rest was history the 2 sets of grandparents did not get on and my dads parents kept there distance.
As a child growing up amongst this you simply do not see the harm around you until it is to late and you are in no position to do anything about it.
I am glad that I had the time to make my peace and make the special relationship that I had with my dads dad over these last many years and will hold our many conversations close to my heart.
We shared so many things in common and were so much alike.
He always had beleife that those in authority would always do the right thing.
He beleived that the NHS would provide high quality care from cradle to grave.
He never thought that swearing or being abusive was acceptable.
He could make his feelings very clear with his dry use of the English language and his polite sarcasm.
He would not suffer fools or idiots.
He believed in God however he said that he only used to attend church to appease my gran and keep the place maintained.
All these attributes made him priceless to me and I have a smile on my face now writing this.
I am glad sometimes that he never knew how bad things were with everything from his social support to the NHS care.
I never let him know the emotional damage that social care staff caused directly to my health, or the lack of support I received as a carer.
The ineptitude of every party concerned from various social care professionals to doctors
He had been tired for many years and in his words would say "There is nothing in this old age" and "I do not recommend it".
Well the old fella has gone to my gran and my dad where no one else can treat him as an idiot, ignore his requests, wishes and needs.
No more incompetent mental health professionals acting on behalf of the county council stating he has no capacity when he had.
Every one who bothered to take the time to know him knew very well that he could be forgetful.
He was in no way either lacking capacity or incapable he knew his mind and what he wanted.
The NHS failed him, but finally got it right with his end of life care.
The Social Workers Lied and Covered up there own failings to provide financially.
The same Social Workers failed to protect him when he was at risk in a care home.
Staffordshire County Council actively protected there own social care staff where it was fully apparent that issues required investigation to protect a vulnerable adult.
The sad fact was that it did not stop there.
The Local Government Ombudsman sided with Staffordshire County Council in this deceit.
The Local MP and The Health Minister have blatantly ignored this issue for many years.
The Police have ignored 2 separate complaints regarding the failure to financially provide.
The press both local and national say this behavior by county councils is the norm
I can only hope and pray that this week will bring some transparency and reinstate my beleife in justice.
If the local county council / NHS and the police cannot be the last trustworthy line of protection for the Elderly then we are well and truly knackered in our old age.
I have been forced into a position of having to be an activist when I never wanted to be one.
I can only keep thinking of what happens when the elderly have no family to watch what these people write and do.
How many other carers are being abused with these underhand tactics
In memory of my grandad I will hold these people accountable.
I will ensure that when these people say "Lessons have been learned" that it is not just lip service
When they suggest "Retraining" when individuals have made deliberate underhand intent will be held accountable, as retraining a liar serves no purpose.
These corporate buzz words need to be understood by those who use them as these words are repeated over and over again.
Transparency Accountability Honesty Trust..
Steve
Firstly grandads funeral was beautiful with a full service of all ages and the sum of £160 was raised to be shared between Marie Curie Cancer Care and the McMillan Hospice.
Just thought I would share a bit more about me and things I have learned whilst getting older.
I grew up in what was a small place called alsager a small village in Cheshire.
Quite a fat kid with skinny mates and from a one parent family, which was rare.
My mates parents were either civil servants or very well off compared to our small family unit of me my sister and mum.
There had been plenty of family chaos by the time I became a teenager, dads accident abroad and the subsequent blame games.
My mum did the best she could she could be very strict and would rarely show much love on the outside towards both me and my sister, however her thoughts were firmly fixed on providing us both with clothing and shoes and a warm safe home.
As a child I never fully understood why my mum was like this, but as an adult and looking back she had locked herself emotionally away after the sudden loss of our dad.
Our family unit should have pulled together after the loss of dad but unfortunately the opposite happened.
My mums parents placed the three of us under a big bubble of protection and made myself and my sister there most precious grand kids.
We knew nothing about what was happening in the bigger picture, Mum had two brothers which in all had made a total of 10 grand kids.
The other brothers were feeling left out as well as the further 8 grand kids.this caused ill feelings.
That was only half of the mess.
My dads parents had spent all of the years after the death of there only son believing that it was my mums fault for wanting to emigrate to Zambia.
This was very wrong it had always been my dads wish to better the family and allow his family unit to be financially stable, I know this as I have read the many letters my dad had wrote.
My dads mum was from an older generation and her feelings had always been that my dad had married into an unsuitable family, There was no love between either my mum or gran and no common ground was ever found.
My dads dad would do as he was told and would never stand up to his wife although they loved each other dearly.
So the rest was history the 2 sets of grandparents did not get on and my dads parents kept there distance.
As a child growing up amongst this you simply do not see the harm around you until it is to late and you are in no position to do anything about it.
I am glad that I had the time to make my peace and make the special relationship that I had with my dads dad over these last many years and will hold our many conversations close to my heart.
We shared so many things in common and were so much alike.
He always had beleife that those in authority would always do the right thing.
He beleived that the NHS would provide high quality care from cradle to grave.
He never thought that swearing or being abusive was acceptable.
He could make his feelings very clear with his dry use of the English language and his polite sarcasm.
He would not suffer fools or idiots.
He believed in God however he said that he only used to attend church to appease my gran and keep the place maintained.
All these attributes made him priceless to me and I have a smile on my face now writing this.
I am glad sometimes that he never knew how bad things were with everything from his social support to the NHS care.
I never let him know the emotional damage that social care staff caused directly to my health, or the lack of support I received as a carer.
The ineptitude of every party concerned from various social care professionals to doctors
He had been tired for many years and in his words would say "There is nothing in this old age" and "I do not recommend it".
Well the old fella has gone to my gran and my dad where no one else can treat him as an idiot, ignore his requests, wishes and needs.
No more incompetent mental health professionals acting on behalf of the county council stating he has no capacity when he had.
Every one who bothered to take the time to know him knew very well that he could be forgetful.
He was in no way either lacking capacity or incapable he knew his mind and what he wanted.
The NHS failed him, but finally got it right with his end of life care.
The Social Workers Lied and Covered up there own failings to provide financially.
The same Social Workers failed to protect him when he was at risk in a care home.
Staffordshire County Council actively protected there own social care staff where it was fully apparent that issues required investigation to protect a vulnerable adult.
The sad fact was that it did not stop there.
The Local Government Ombudsman sided with Staffordshire County Council in this deceit.
The Local MP and The Health Minister have blatantly ignored this issue for many years.
The Police have ignored 2 separate complaints regarding the failure to financially provide.
The press both local and national say this behavior by county councils is the norm
I can only hope and pray that this week will bring some transparency and reinstate my beleife in justice.
If the local county council / NHS and the police cannot be the last trustworthy line of protection for the Elderly then we are well and truly knackered in our old age.
I have been forced into a position of having to be an activist when I never wanted to be one.
I can only keep thinking of what happens when the elderly have no family to watch what these people write and do.
How many other carers are being abused with these underhand tactics
In memory of my grandad I will hold these people accountable.
I will ensure that when these people say "Lessons have been learned" that it is not just lip service
When they suggest "Retraining" when individuals have made deliberate underhand intent will be held accountable, as retraining a liar serves no purpose.
These corporate buzz words need to be understood by those who use them as these words are repeated over and over again.
Transparency Accountability Honesty Trust..
Steve
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